Why Does It Still Hit Me?

So just days after I patted myself on the back about not breaking down after hearing E's news (and I am totally happy for them, I swear!!), I was lying in bed last night and I started crying. Maybe it was the recent pics of my friends BA and K in all of their 36-35 week pregnant glory. They are beautiful and I am thrilled for them. It just hits me sometimes... that would be me.  It's not and I totally accept that, it's just hard to let go.  We really wanted Baby P. We were so excited about Baby P. The planning and hoping and dreaming, just gone. The rug pulled out from under us. We didn't see it coming. Even though I had my funny feeling that things weren't quite right, I was trying to be positive. Plus, nothing can protect you from the hurt of losing a pregnancy, losing a baby you wanted. I'm crying just typing this. WHY??? It was months ago. It is so frustrating. I wonder if I'll ever get over it. I hope that day comes soon.

PS: J just called and that was a nice surprise, so now I'm feeling a little better. Maybe I just needed to get it out of my system.