Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Title? I got nothing

So, I can't think of a title for this post. Everything I came up with didn't make sense. Maybe something will come to me. Probably not since my brain is fried. End of school year activities, grading and packing are taking their toll. 

My thoughts are pretty random lately. I can't believe how quickly the school year went, or this past year in general! I'm going to miss my students. I've had a fantastic group of 7th graders this year. They're going to be awesome 8th graders, and I'm bummed I won't be back. I also work with really great people. At the same time, this is also a good way to end my time there. Plus, I'm a little glad to not be working next year. I'm burnt out. There are real reasons why a large portion of teachers quit the profession within 5 years. This was my 4th. I love the kids, but I'm drained. Though, I always feel this way in June and by August I'm jonesing to get back into the classroom. I can't picture myself doing anything else.

Plus, there is the approaching 1 year mark. 1 year ago, I was pregnant. I didn't yet know it. The HPT I took June 19th was negative (too early), but 6 days later there it was- our BFP. How different I thought this year was going to be... Even after the m/c, I thought we'd be PG by now, but that was before we knew J was being deployed and his cruddy SA results. Then, finding out we're working with only one open tube. Even though Dr. C is taking it in stride for now, I'm still not over my concerns. 

Then there's the IUI. I'm not sure how this works, and I have a bunch of questions. I'm suppose to call CD1, but I might be out of town, so does that cancel things? Will I be taking Clomid? If so, how much and when do I start? Do I have to call the outside clinic? I've never been seen there, but J has- do they need to know this might be happening, or does Dr. C's office do that? What other things do I need to know or ask about? I'm sure these questions will all be resolved, so I'm just trying to be a non-freak about the whole thing. My random, conflicting feelings don't help matters. I vacillate between negativity that it won't work to optimistic hope to apathy. 

My brain is a such lovely place to be right now! Sometimes, I really wish there was an off switch.

1 comment:

MJ said...

I Am going into year 9 of teaching 7th grade...I know what you mean about challenging. Hang in there.

Random thoughts are OK, they will work themselves out eventually.