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It so good to be home!

J and I traveled to the Baltimore/Annapolis area for a wedding this past weekend. It was great, but very exhausting. Taking out travel-time, we spent only 40 hours there! In that time we: went to Chilis for lunch, shopping for a belt & DHA supplements, took the scenic byway to the wedding, attended the wedding, met bride, groom & others for brunch the next morning, visited the Baltimore Aquarium, toured some old ships, and finally met-up with some friends before heading to the airport. It was crazy, but fun!

Now we have the next week to mentally and physically prepare for our move cross-country. Movers take over our house the 8th & 9th, and if we haven't separated out what we want to take with us, then it will be packed up and we won't see it again for a few weeks. Very stressful making sure we have everything we want/need for 2+ weeks.

On the pregnancy front, it still doesn't feel real. I'm so excited when my breasts are sore (which only happens every so often), because at least I'm feeling something. Other than that- nada. I guess I should be thankful, but it just makes me wonder if everything is going okay. I know every one experiences different symptoms, but I can't help but be a little worried. I'm sure everything is fine, I just wish I had some proof that it was ;o)

On a Side Note

I mentioned in July that a masseuse found a lump on my back that she thought I should get checked out. I fully admit to procrastinating about getting it looked at, but I finally did yesterday.

The verdict? A non-capsulated lipoma (fatty tumor). The doc is not worried at all. *Big sigh of relief* Though, he said to have J check it every so often to see if it changes. He also said that it might change size during the pregnancy because of all the hormones. I'm just glad he's not concerned, but the hypochondriac in me left the office thinking: "Maybe he didn't check the right lump..."

2nd Beta...

749!

I was hoping for something around 300! I know it really shouldn't matter (especially since last year my levels reached 38,000 even with no baby) but that number is music to my ears.

It still feels completely impossible that I am pregnant, even though I have the betas and manyHPTs as proof. We are excited, if not a little jaded. I knew that the second time around would not be as carefree as the first, though I am surprised at how optimistic I feel- most of the time. I still have the nagging realities hanging over my head and those are hard to shake sometimes, but I'm doing my best. In a strange twist, I don't feel the same pressure to be perfect this pregnancy. I guess because I know that there was absolutely nothing I could have done differently last time. It is completely out of my control (maybe besides, you know, drinking heavily and doing drugs). I've eaten blue cheese, drank caffeinated coke. I know- I'm a rebel! But last time I was ultra careful and aware of every little thing I ate, drank or did. It's sort of liberating to just take things one day at a time. I'm aware of what could go wrong, but I'm trying to focus on everything that could go right.

Just for fun I took the fancy-shmancy digital HPT too :o)

Shock, Awe and Nerves

To say we are shocked is a huge understatement!!! I only tested to stop my crazy imagination from making up PG symptoms. I was having to pee more than the 20 week preggo M who was staying with us, and I kept laughing at myself since there was *no way* I was PG. Then I abruptly started crying over this little thing, and I kept thinking "I'm not really that upset, why am I crying?" but figured it was PMS. Guess not!

J got home Aug 1st, and of course we spent his first few days home making up for being apart the past 7 months :o) I wasn't even using my CBEFM to track my O this cycle. I figured it wouldn't be much fun to put us on a FWP schedule right when the poor guy gets home! Then on Aug 6, CD15, I had O pangs. CDfreaking15!!!! I have not O'd that early in the 2+ years I've been off BCP. CD15 is one full week before I normally O. Crazy.

Here's how it breaks down in my mind:

• Apparently, BDing every day worked better than an every-other-day schedule. Hmm...
• It was my left ovary's "turn" (plus I only had mild O pangs, not my usual painful right side pangs) and that's the side open for business.
• CD15 means fresh egg and lining compared to my usual old, crusty CD22+ egg and lining.
• We weren't thinking about getting PG at all, just making up for lost time.
• UPDATED THOUGHTS- maybe the Clomid from last cycle had an impact on how early I ovulated this cycle? Maybe the HSG in Jun helped clear the way a bit?

I'm still in a constant state of shock. I want to be excited, but I am also very nervous. I keep expecting AF to start every time I go to the bathroom. My beta drawn yesterday at 3w6d was 65. Which I think is a pretty respectable number considering how early it is, but the nurse wants another drawn on Monday, which is fine with me! I am keeping my fingers crossed for a number over 260 by then. Please, please, please let everything be alright this time around...

So...

I've been a bad blogger. My deepest apologies to the 3 people who read this blog :o)

So, things have been a bit busy. J came home and it took us a good week to get reacquainted and back in tune. Had lots of "us" time. It was great. Then J sprung on me that he invited his cousin and wife, J&M, out to stay with us! Fine, whatever. This is J's favorite cousin and they hadn't seen each other in almost 2 years. Oh, and M is 20 weeks *oops* pregnant... very happy for them-it was just that at this point last year I was physically miscarrying. Not really psyched to be around a pregnant lady 24/7. Nevertheless, it was a great time. We took them to experience the sites and sounds of the surrounding area, and the 5 days flew by. 

I had been feeling pretty low. Both my cousins had their babies last week (one day apart!), my SIL has been posting lots of belly pics, then hosting a pregnant lady. I was this close to writing a "poor, pitiful me" entry yesterday. I'm glad I didn't, because: 

13dpo

I'M PREGNANT!!!