Friday, March 9, 2012

Nervous Once More...

So, I'm not really sure why I've been hesitant to post since sharing the news that I'm PG, other than I am so scared that it won't last... To prove that I am not a total nutcase here is why I am nervous:

1) I ovulated CD19, and an oldish egg doesn't bode well (the twins' egg was a CD21 release).

2) I POAS at 12dpo and thought just maaaaybeeee there was a positive line, though it was so nearly invisible it kind of came and went depending on how I tilted the stick. I POAS the next day, and basically saw the same thing- a nearly invisible, almost-line that I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, so I dismissed the idea that these tests were positive. Even though Ally's 13dpo positive was light, it was there.

3) When I tested the next day, Sunday, at 14dpo I finally saw an actual positive, but it was still so much lighter than Ally's. Can you even see it in the pic?

I proceeded to test every morning and night for the next week. Yes, you read that correctly- not helping my total nutcase defense, I know :) The good news was that the tests seem to be darker at night, however they weren't getting any darker compared to each other. Not.at.all. I thought for sure my period would show up any day- or worse, it's ectopic. (The positive line did eventually darken by the next Sunday, but it just feels like it took too long to show anything remarkable.)

4) That first true BFP was Sunday, on Wednesday I received a few of these bad boys, and tested that night. The 25miu/ml and the 100miu/ml strips were visible, but the 500miu/ml was barely a shadow. I literally had to use a magnifying class to see it. This was not encouraging news at 16dpo. When I took another Detect5 test a week later, this past Wednesday, 25-500miu/ml showed up well, but nothing discernible at 2000miu/ml. Maybe an incredibly faint line, but even the magnifying glass didn't help much. There was a shadow of a line at 10000miu/ml though, which is confusing; This test does seem to give many testers extremely light results so I'll be testing with my last one this weekend, and will hopefully see more definitive results.

6) I felt strong Corpus Luteum cyst pain on Tuesday, which I've never experienced before. And while I know it's common, reading online that if it bursts and you don't supplement with progesterone the pregnancy may not survive. Awesome.

7) Lastly is that I have basically zero symptoms. Like the twins' pregnancy where you'd think I'd have had something with my hCG levels being pretty high, I don't really have any PG symptoms. With Ally it wasn't much but they were there. All I have had is a cramp/heavy feeling a few times, and a heightened sense of smell. I'm tired, but I'm always tired. I had a moody moment, but it was durning a spat with J and justified. My bo.obs tingle here and there, but I've have that since Ally was born. I know that there usually isn't much in the way of symptoms early on, but I'm entering 6weeks and there is nothing remarkable to hang my hopes on. I should be grateful for lack of uncomfortable symptoms, but I'd be okay with a little indication from my body that things are on track. And most worrisome, I spotted the other day, pink/red spotting.

So, now I'm waiting once more... for the other shoe to drop.

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