Today would have been my EDD. I haven't really thought about it much, but it popped into my head yesterday and was on my mind a bit today. How very different life would be. Not necessarily better of course because I have so much to be thankful for- just different, but in the best possible way.
An ectopic is such a strange (for lack of a better term) way to "lose" a pregnancy in that your own health takes precedence. While logically you know there is no way an ectopic is viable, it is still the loss of what could have been. In such a short amount of time dreams were made, names were discussed (girl's name picked even). It was just enough time to get excited, and since we already have Ally it was easier to be optimistic right from the start; I kept thinking and telling J "our odds are good, we're 1:1." It sucks to have that optimism ripped away again, and our odds are even worse but for multiple reasons now.
The simple truth is, I'm sad about this loss and everything it means.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
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